B League Picayune
Often in error, never in doubt.
Volume 5, Issue 61 – November 22, 2023 – Thanksgiving Special
Happy Thanksgiving, B Leaguers!
I’ve been asked whether I use AI to generate content for the Picayune, and the picture above explains why the answer is no – it’s the best result I could get from the prompt “Keggy dressed as a Pilgrim.” The AIs I’ve tried have resolutely refused to render Keggy as anything other than a furry mammal, no matter how stridently I load the prompts with phrases like “anthropomorphic BEER KEG, why won’t you listen?” and “no rodents or canines, you dumb-assed AI.” Believe me, I would use AI if I could get it to read a softball scoresheet, but we’re some ways away from that.
This being the day for it, I want to thank a number of people for making the splendid enterprise that is the B League happen.
First, I can’t thank enough Dave Berra, whose willingness, despite its being a ginormous pain in his ass, to keep detailed scoresheets for games in which I play has made it possible for me to write much improved recaps. You may recall some of the half- (or less-than-half-) assed recaps for my teams in past seasons – for most of this season, those have faded from memory thanks to Dave’s efforts. (The image above is what I got when I fed an AI image generator a picture of Dave and asked it to present him dressed as a Pilgrim.)
B League’s managers take on an incredible burden, and something I don’t think is fully appreciated is how the work, mental and physical, that they put in can negatively impact their play on the field – when you’re worrying about lineups and assigning positions and cat-herding to make sure there are umpires, you can’t concentrate as well on your own hitting and fielding. They take a hit on their enjoyment so that the rest of us can have all our fun. I am very thankful.
The same is true, only much more so, for the league president. Every year, in my role as editor of Pravda for the BSSR (B-league Soviet Socialist Roundballers), I proclaim the new president as The Best President Ever, but the thing is, it’s true. It does come at the cost of making that season a living heck for the new guy, which is why no one ever wants a repeat term. Anyway, I’m thankful for every president we’ve had. (The image above is what I got when I fed an AI image generator a picture of Jack McDermott and asked it to present him dressed as a Pilgrim. Not gonna lie, Jack’s looking pretty hot in that fedora — Lisa, what say you?)
I also am thankful for Beebe Sports and their support of the B League this season. The Beebe folks are awesome — keep Beebe in mind this holiday season!
Tourney seedings, based on full-season records:
W L Win %:
1. Blue 34.5 19.5 .639
2. Maroon 28 23 .549
3. Gray 26 26 .500
4. Gold 25 27 .481
5. Green 26 29 .473
6. Red 24 30 .444
Tentative schedule for the tourney:
Monday November 27:
11:00 a.m.: Red (6) at Gray (3)
Noon: Green (5) at Gold (4)
Tuesday November 28:
11:00 a.m.: Low-seed Monday winner at Blue (1)
Noon: High-seed Monday winner at Maroon (2)
1:00 p.m.: championship game – lower seed at higher seed
Days and times subject to change, depending on the weather.
Keggy’s Korner:
I am also very thankful for all the kind things B Leaguers have said to me about the Picayune, but I do worry that I don’t always do justice to the games and players. I try, but as I often say, I’m just a pretend journalist. But I’ll tell you what, sometimes I run across something that makes me think, hell, I’m doing fine. Specifically, this story about the cricket World Cup:
https://apnews.com/article/world-cup-cricket-final-australia-india-eb2d39fba2eab7a283faefc7a0f9ab6b?utm_campaign=mb&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_source=morning_brew
Not saying I’m the sharpest pair of scissors in the drawer, but generally I read English pretty good. This ↑ bunch of English-language words? Total gibberish.
That’s all for today – the deep frying of my sparrow stuffed inside a bullfrog stuffed inside a squirrel stuffed inside a rattlesnake stuffed inside a rabbit stuffed inside a chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a Canada goose stuffed inside a turkey stuffed inside a feral hog stuffed inside a bighorn sheep stuffed inside an elk stuffed inside a moose stuffed inside a buffalo, a.k.a. the most North American meal ever, is almost done. Plus that jellied cranberry sauce won’t eat itself.